One Year In: A Letter To Me

WOOHOO – Celebrate those good times, right?! It’s so hard to believe that this week marks the one year mark of launching my business. It’s been a fast, furious and fun year – with lots of learning curves built in. Learning curves not only from a business perspective, but I’d say even more from a personal view. 

The other day I heard that Brad Paisley song, “Letter to Me” and it had me thinking about this past year and my whole life, really. There are so many instances where diving into the “unknown” of a new adventure has left me a bit freaked out.

Will I fail? Will I succeed? How is this going to go? Will I know what to do or say?

This past year as I entered into the “unknown” of being a service-based business owner, it held a lot of mixed emotions – excitement, worry, nervousness, confidence, etc. There were lots of times I had to trust that God would bring the right words in each conversation and I had to trust in myself and believe in myself, more than I ever had. The interesting thing is a colleague of mine who has been freelancing for over five years told me right before I started – “You’ll be okay, there is plenty of work.” I literally took that as one of my “signs from above” that it was all going to be okay.  Speaking of those signs, I’m awfully thankful for them. I think the big guy upstairs knows I need BIG signs to help me on my path. I’m thankful for my relationship with God and that he implemented an innate sense of intuition in me. Another colleague this year said that intuition is your guardian angels watching over you – you just have to tune in to listening to them. This year, I’ve developed some rituals that help me listen in to that intuition a little more regularly and it’s been a game changer. These rituals have also helped me with developing consistent habits that help me show up for myself, my family and my clients in an incredible way.

You see, over the past several years, I hadn’t been showing up as my best self. I struggled to find that “right” balance of  work and life. Let me tell you, it has been a journey to figure things out and I’m still a work in progress. Becoming a parent changed my perspective on how I wanted to live my life. I’m incredibly career focused (almost to a fault), but I know my heart yearns to be an incredible mom too. I wasn’t sure what that balance would look like or how it could be done, so I tried out some different working set-ups: I tried being a full-time working mom, I tried being a stay-at-home mom and I tried the part-time working mom thing. They all had learning lessons in each one of them and I’m glad I tried the different avenues. Now, I know it was all part of a bigger plan for me. These different scenarios pushed me. I cried a lot, I felt out of balance a lot, I felt like I was insane A LOT. But I needed to go through those experiences to learn from them, gain clarity on what was important, to get comfortable with failing, to be okay with asking for help and to allow myself grace. Ultimately, these experiences also gave me faith and courage to step out on my own. I’m most certainly not saying I have it figured out yet (there were plenty of tears and insane moments this year too), but I feel like I’m moving in a better direction and implementing some consistent habits to set myself up for success. 

One of my [many] goals after one year of being in business was to specialize. I thought one year in, I would be ready to figure out what I loved most and focus in on that. But now that I’m one year in, I’m just not there yet and I’m okay with it. I have enjoyed every project that I worked on this year (well, except that one…), but I know deep down that I’m called to do more in this world so I’m exploring additional services to add to my business. Each project I took on this past year was unique, challenging and provided me good experience. During this process, I also learned a lot about myself and it brought me confidence in my capabilities. As I work through what’s next for my business, I know that God will put what’s meant to be in my path when the time is right, I just have to trust the process. Come to think of it, there are some lyrics in the Brad Paisley song that pertain to that exact thought:

“I wish you wouldn’t worry, let it be.
Have a little faith & you’ll see.”

So if I were to write a “Letter to Me” one year ago for me to open this week, here would be some bullet points:

• Allow yourself grace – with all things. Remember this one daily.
• Believe in yourself AND just be yourself.
• God will open doors when the time is right and you’ll be so amazed at what comes your way.
• Enjoy the process and continue to challenge yourself daily.
• You’re going to have so much fun, so don’t worry so much.
• You’ll develop rituals that will fill your cup. Just make sure you keep disciplined with practicing your rituals.
• Your love for writing will open many doors.
• You will have an opportunity to teach marketing and you’ll love it!
• You will meet acquaintances that will challenge and change you – for the good.
• There will be tears, but that’s okay. They will mean growth for you.
• Know that you’ll fail, but that you’re smart and strong enough to get back up. 
• You will meet so many incredible people who will help you on your path – and you’ll help them on theirs. 
• Be resourceful, think outside the box and trust in yourself.
• Lead with your heart and trust your gut.
• Be so thankful for your family – they are a tremendous support & inspiration to you.
• You will learn more beyond the realm of business and it will be a launching point for who you want to be and how you want to live (and you’ll do a lot of thinking on that topic this year). 
• Remember those sweet little boys are always watching. Be the mom who creates a new way of working that is life-giving to everyone around her (including herself).

And if I could write a letter to my future self, it would say all of the above, with the following addition:

• Be GENTLE, but be BRAVE, sweet girl.

Thanks for those who have followed along this year. Please know I am so truly grateful for your support!